Was I ADHD?

Google “ADHD” and you get about 52,700,000 hits. Wikipedia defines it as: “a neurobehavioral developmental disorder. It is primarily characterized by ‘the co-existence of attentional problems and hyperactivity, with each behavior occurring infrequently alone’ and symptoms starting before seven years of age.”


Now, I’m new to the whole ADHD scene. Sure, my pastor (Ed Young) has a form of it that he calls EDD. But now it’s hit a lot closer to home. Matthew, our youngest son, was diagnosed with it over a year ago (we’ve had him for just under 2 weeks). Yesterday, we visited the psychiatrist who had diagnosed him and subsequently put him on a regimen of medications; a regimen that had to be adjusted and tested several times before the right combination (or concoction) of meds was found.

Before you go further, let me get something out. I’m not going on a rant about the psychiatric community. I’m not denying the existence of ADHD. And I’m not even talking about the dangers of over-medicating children.I am, though, posing a question.

Could it be that our society has too easily diagnosed a child

to have ADHD because we are afraid of the

WORK it takes to parent that child?

In CPS, nearly 90 percent of the children are diagnosed with ADHD and on some kind of medication. As Carissa and I sat in that waiting room yesterday, I looked around at children who were dazed, distant and distracted rather than being engaged in conversation, looking at books (yes, actual books) or simply using their imagination to dream and play. And I would bet that every one of those kids was on medication, and most of them for ADHD.

The drugs (because that’s what they are) that Matthew has to take for his ADHD no doubt effect his personality. But how? No one knows. Even the flier we got at the doctor’s office says, “The way ADHD medications work is not exactly known.” I’m sorry. WHAT? And you want me to continue putting my child through that? No thank you.

So Carissa and I are going to begin the process of taking Matthew off those medications. We don’t think he has ADHD. Active? Yes. Distracted at times? Yes. But hey…HE’S SIX! We base our belief not on naiveté, but instead on some very pointed and alarming factors that have become clear through the process of adopting him.

We believe strongly that God can continue to work in and through our lives to get Matthew clear of those medications. We aren’t some weird “faith over medicine” kind of people. Trust me. Medical miracles have saved my family more than one time. But I DO believe fully that with some direction, guidance, creative outlets and yes, even discipline (a word too many parents are afraid of), a lot of children who were once thought to be ADHD will in fact be found to be curious, energetic boys and girls…just like we all were when we were growing up!

Where it All Started

Just a few days ago, our youngest son, Matthew, walked into his new home and his new world for the first time.

Lately, several people have mentioned that I should write about all this. I’m sure when someone suggests that, they are hoping to read about the heartwarming moments and the amazing experiences and emotions that accompany each step of this journey we are on. They probably want to hear about things like the first time we met Matthew, the first time he saw Jackson and Parker, his reaction to our two crazy dogs and his new room.

And I’m sure, over time, I will begin to write about a lot of that (somewhere other than my journals). But I can’t write about any of it. Not here. Not yet. Not until I share the very foundation of this entire journey.

It’s easy, I think, to look at this whole situation from the perspective that this is a huge blessing—for us and for Matthew.

Now…if you know me, then you know my heart. And you know I don’t say that to brag. I don’t say that boasting how we have everything to offer this little boy who has nothing. I say that only because I am fully confident in God. I see every day what He has already done for me and my family.

I think to be blessed by God and then to deny those blessings in front of people is to spit in the face of God. So yes, I see that we have a blessed family. We are simply opening up what we have been given to a little boy who needs a home. “We’re blessed to be a blessing.”

That’s so true. But that’s also the “easy preach,” as my pastor would say. And it’s not the impetus of our journey. Not by a long shot.

That may sound strange to some. After all, adoption is about having the heart to extend love and grace and open your home, right? Maybe. But under all of that is a word a lot of people don’t talk about. What some people may not see or know is that every second of our journey has been taken with one thing in mind. And it isn’t to be a blessing. It is simply to be obedient.

Those of you who have prayed with us have been praying for something you may not even realize. You have prayed strength into our family to continue taking steps of obedience. But here’s the great thing about it all. This is the part that brings tears to my eyes and causes me to stare heavenward in absolute amazement.

God, in His infinite goodness and love, cannot help but bless our obedience. And I’m not just talking about the Boyds anymore. And I’m not just talking about adoption anymore either. I’m talking about every single person on earth, in every realm of life. We don’t obey God to be blessed; we are blessed because we obey.

So on our journey of adoption, that’s simply what we are doing. We are continuing to seek God’s will and move forward one step at a time. And because of that, we are seeing the culmination of obedience…which is the blessing of another son to call us “Mommy” and “Daddy.”

There Really Are No Words... Happy Mother's Day!

What do you get the woman who is the strength of every day?
What do you say to the woman who brought your children into the world
and helps them to make it through each day they walk?
What do you say to your wife, when she gives color to the world
simply because she is here?

There really are no words.

No card, no candy, no gift
can thank her enough.
The meaning she holds,
the hope she brings,
the love she gives,
the beauty she possess…

There really are no words.

When she walks into the room,
we all notice…and we all smile.
When she smiles, our hearts melt
and our worries disappear, even if just for a while.
To say “Thank you” isn’t enough, because…

There really are no words.

Peace. Joy. Love.
When God created these, he had her in mind.
Beauty. Grace. Style.
What the world longs to see, we see all the time.
Strength. Hope. Art.
There are a million words we could write, but…

There really are no words. Other than, “Mom.”

We love you, Carissa! Happy Mother’s Day!

Love,
Andy, Jackson and Parker

GOD. IS. LOVE.

So vast is his love that the only possible release
Was the creation of its very object—you and me—humanity.
Pure beyond understanding, full beyond comprehension,
The emotion and feeling we know and have is but a cheap imitation.
Cleansing like the morning rain on a meadow in Spring,
God’s love washes our souls and offers us eternity.

GOD IS LOVE.

But to think that, like the meadow, God’s love is all beauty,
Is to ignore the thorns and weeds and what we’ve done with it.
For our sin is the murder of our love towards God,
And our rejection of him exists because we fell for the fraud.
We chose our own path as the roads of love and rebellion converged,
But still God points to the cross where love and sin re-merged.

GOD IS LOVE.

See, love needs an object if it’s really love at all.
And we were the focus eternal of God’s love—before and after the fall.
So living a sinless life so that we may not remain lifeless in sin,
Christ laid himself out on the cross and welcomed the nails in.

GOD IS LOVE.

While his heart was still, without a pulse beating,
The full force of his love for us was right there, waiting.
And on that 3rd fateful day love showed its true might,
For the stone rolled away and Christ emerged into the light.
And as he burst from the grave and looked to the sky above,
He must have smiled knowing the world would surely see now…

GOD IS LOVE.