The Power of Cussing

Do you remember that scene in “A Christmas Story” where Ralphie helps his dad change the flat tire? Remember how that scene ends? Yep. With an f-bomb and a bar of soap.

Until just a few days ago, I saw myself from Ralphie’s perspective. I remember what it was like to discover the power of cussing. And I remember vividly the first time I heard the f-bomb. I was in the 2nd grade.

My friend Trey told a joke about the good side and the bad side of the hill (yes, I still remember the joke). We laughed so hard that the teacher in the cafeteria finally came over to find out what was so funny. It was very much my Ralphie moment. I hadn’t actually said the word myself. Not then at least. But I got my first lesson in guilt by association. The teacher didn’t call my parents. And if they’re reading this, this is most likely the first time they’ve ever heard this story.

The point is that I remember the power of discovering a forbidden word. And I used it. Often. Loudly. Proudly. I don’t remember ever getting caught. But I definitely know it was part of my verbal arsenal.

Now, I look at things from a completely different angle, because I’m no longer Ralphie. I’m Ralphie’s dad. And sadly, real life isn’t as funny as the movies.

Jackson has recently learned the power of the f-bomb…and the repercussions it brings. Who knows when he actually learned it for the first time? But in the past 96 hours, he’s dropped it twice (that we know of). The first time, he was at a friend’s. There was an … incident. But he came home and fessed up. Said he lost his temper and it just came out.

In that moment, I was so proud of his honesty and could tell he was truly sorry. Because I want him to feel comfortable coming to me in the future, I told him I was disappointed in his actions, but proud that he had the guts to be honest. No punishment.

Yesterday, he dropped the bomb at school. I know because the principal called my wife, who called me. Grace period? Over. Creative discipline begins. And soap? Pfff. That’s child’s play. The list of consequences* on this one is long and distinguished.

It’s not about the power of a forbidden word. This is an opportunity to teach Jackson about the power of choosing your words carefully.


* The list of consequences:

• Call and apologize to the kids he cussed out, and to their parents.
• Write a letter of apology to the principal and the teacher.
• Miss the lock-in at church.
• Call the Pastor to explain why he missed the lock-in.
• No screens (t.v., DS, Wii) for a week.
• No friends over for a week.
• No going to friends’ houses for a week.
• No more riding the bus home from school.
• No more riding bikes with the kid he learned the word from.

Dad, I have a question...

Have you ever experienced a moment that you think is going to be profound? The time is right. The atmosphere is primed. And you just know this moment is going to hold some deep meaning, far beyond the moment itself. I just had one.

I was tucking the boys into bed while Carissa is at Flavour 2010. We've had a great night as just the boys. We ordered pizza. Played a little hoops. Even got in some video game time. Just hung out.

And as I kissed Parker good night and turned to walk out of his room, he stopped me.

"Dad?"

Yes, P?

"I have a question I've been thinking about that I just can't answer..." (Those were his exact words.)

Now, let me explain something. Parker is the one of our two boys who will drop some seriously deep questions on you when you least expect it. He's the one who contemplates the most difficult aspects of life, spirituality and the meaning of it all...in his seven year old way, of course.

So when he stopped me tonight with that question, I was poised and ready to tackle another philosophical discussion or theological conversation about what God might look like or how it's possible for Jesus to be physically alive in heaven right now (both of which I've had with him at some point).

"I have a question I've been thinking about that I just can't answer..."

Yes, P?

"Just how can you defeat the final Bowser on Super Mario Bros.?"

I wanted to write tonight...

I wanted to write tonight. Nothing too big; nothing life changing. Just...write. But honestly, I don't feel like writing anymore. And as I think about that, I can't help but think of a blog post by Michael Hyatt . It's actually written by P.J. O'Rourke. But it pretty much nails it.

"Usually, writers will do anything to avoid writing. For instance, the previous sentence was written at one o’clock this afternoon. It is now a quarter to four. I have spent the past two hours and forty-five minutes sorting my neckties by width, looking up the word “paisly” in three dictionaries, attempting to find the town of that name on The New York Times Atlas of the World map of Scotland, sorting my reference books by width, trying to get the bookcase to stop wobbling by stuffing a matchbook cover under its corner, dialing the telephone number on the matchbook cover to see if I should take computer courses at night, looking at the computer ads in the newspaper and deciding to buy a computer because writing seems to be so difficult on my old Remington, reading an interesting article on sorghum farming in Uruguay that was in the newspaper next to the computer ads, cutting that and other interesting articles out of the newspaper, sorting—by width—all the interesting articles I’ve cut out of newspapers recently, fastening them neatly together with paper clips and making a very attractive paper clip necklace and bracelet set, which I will present to my girlfriend as soon as she comes home from the three-hour low-impact aerobic workout that I made her go to so I could have some time alone to write.”

— P. J. O’Rourke

I Wonder...Do You Know Him?